003: Insecurities

Wednesday, February 10, 2016 2 Comments A+ a-

I'm apologizing in advance for what I assume would be a lengthy post with nothing but rambles and unorganized thoughts. 

It's prom season again.

I might have mentioned on last year's prom prep blog post my below zero level of confidence when it comes to wearing a formal dress and applying prettyfying goop on my face.

Well, these feelings have not changed. 

I still feel so nervous about the entire process again. 

I don't have a promdate this year, which helps a ton. I'm not entirely sure why it helps, but it does. The reason behind not having a promdate is that I simply don't want one. A lot of my friends are leaving after this school year and as much as I want to spend the night with a fine young man promdate, I think the night should be spent mostly with friends.

Unlike last year, I still don't have a dress. And prom is in 2 weeks. I'm writing this right now because I skipped school today to go gown hunting with my mom (which is probably a bad thing, but hey I'll jump at any opportunity to miss school). We're leaving in a little while, so I decided to write my thoughts down here before I implode.

Last year's theme was Parisian (which nobody followed), this year's theme is Pastel (and I doubt anybody would follow). I have an idea of what prom dress I want (mint green, cocktail, preferably with sleeves, and not too short). I'm probably oversharing now, right? And also rambling? Yep.

Over the weekend, my mom and I also took the time to look for prom dresses. Needless to say, we found nothing. I didn't see anything that suited what I needed and wanted. Same could be said for my mom, who did most of the choosing anyway. The last time we went gown shopping which was 2 days ago (happy Chinese new year btw), we spent 6 hours driving to different dress shops and malls.

I don't want to do that again today. 

Hopefully we'll be lucky today because I'm not up for another 6 hour hunt. 

I guess I was wrong, this post isn't as long as I imagined it would be. 

Oh on another note, I began filming a documentary thing for the month of February and I am so excited to start editing and then show it to people because I've been working hard on it and I've been facing my fear of using a camera outside the house. More on that for another time, I guess.

Bye for now!
Wish me luck!


a 19 year old girl who firmly believes in the power and joy of writing and that the owl carrying her Hogwarts letter simply got lost.


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14 February 2016 at 18:57 delete

My dear, you are a braver soul than I.

Out of my six years in high school I have attended two dances (unlike your proms, we have Ceilidhs - rampantly celtic affairs that can cause mental and physical damage) and that was enough to persuade me never to return. A valiant effort on your part to celebrate the 'celestial movement' of your homebuddies leaving at the end of the year before it is too late, be it begrudgingly or FYEAHPROM-ly.

Think of it less as an social imprisonment and more as an opportunity to be part of a small connection of people who will think of the night as a primary link after they are seperated and WOOOOO YOU'RE PART OF THAT!!

*realises level of metaphor-trash one is presenting unto the internet* bUT CHEER UP, LADDY! As we say here, "what's for ye'll no go by ye", meaning whatever is meant to happen will happen and all you can do is shuffle along. PLUS, If it doesn't work out, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you were right ;)

Good luck, pal!
- Ali xx

17 February 2016 at 16:15 delete

You have absolutely no idea how much this helped - and how fat my heart grew while reading this! Thank you :)


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