002: Fears

This blog post was inspired by a video created by Will Darbyshire called Fear, which I highly suggest that you watch if you have the time because it is the most accurate representation of how I've been feeling recently.


One of the best ways to get rid of fear is by actually doing what you fear, but personally, I also think that talking about it is the second best option. You have to recognize what you fear, see why you fear it, and whether you like it or not, you have to face it.

I have a lot of wonderful friends but sometimes I just feel like I couldn't talk to them about these kind of things, so I decided to write it down here in the hopes that while doing so, I'll feel better and maybe I could make other people feel better as well by letting them know they're not alone.
Much like Will on his video, I have been fearing a lot of things lately. Up to the point where sometimes I would just lie in bed and spend hours staring at the ceiling and contemplating my life choices. It sounds a little too much, but sadly, it's true.

The most recurring fear that creeps up on me is the fear to keep going. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but recently I've been so confused on where I want to go. Not just college wise, but also career wise. And, well, life wise. I'm scared that if I keep going without knowing where I want to go, I'm going to end up not doing anything with my life.

Another is the fear of change. It's not that I'm so content with my life right now, but I've just always had trouble embracing change. Unfortunately for me, change is inevitable. The only constant thing in life is change. To some of my friends, this is the last year we would ever be sitting in the same table during lunch. They would be moving to different schools and I'm going to have to meet new people in school and create more new memories. I just can't imagine what school would be like without my friends. It's one of the biggest changes I just think I would not be able to move on from.

It's such a petty thing to fear that, I know.