I was going through my drafts and saw this post I wrote quite a long time ago. I completely forgot this even existed and I was about to delete it since this was such a long time ago + I just celebrated my one year anniversary with my current significant other (woop woop), but I thought that would be a waste. Sayang naman yung ~learning experience~ from this post (charot). I was so SO hurt after this relationship and I thought I'd never get over it, but this just proves that shit gets better. It always does. :)

Dear Kate sticker by yours truly 

I was never one to write poems.

One, because I suck at it.

And two, because I have to google rhyming words every single time.

But here's me trying again.

I tried to make the title rhyme, give me some credit. It was either that or New Year, New Me.

I was supposed to put up a picture of my own during New Year's, but guess what I am still super lazy. Credits to the original owner of the photo used above.

Anyway, happy new year, everyone! 

It's a little late, but technically I still have the entirety of the year to say that.

So, needless to say, I failed the 12 Posts of Christmas Challenge again. It's all good though because I had so much fun doing it and at least I got about halfway through it. I'm pretty proud of that achievement.

Anywho, so how was your vacation? Hopefully you all had a blast (see what I did there? *wenk wenk*)! 

Mine went pretty well. We spent Christmas at home and held a small party with relatives and then we went up North to spend New Year's at our farm along with some cousins. I missed the open space so much. We went biking (and guess who took sore-ass loser literally), we played American football (or y'know took turns throwing the weirdly shaped ball), and on New Year's morning, we went up a mountain and stopped by a river (#nature). All in all, it was awesome.

I could spend the whole day writing about how sucky 2015 was for me and how much I want it to end, but I still have to watch the Sherlock Special instead I'll just talk about how much I'm looking forward to 2016!

The first few weeks of 2016 were absolute trash, to be honest. With the passing away of David Bowie and Alan Rickman (this broke my heart and I was unable to function for a full 2 days). Plus exams were a few days ago, which absolutely sucked too. Also because Deadpool got an official rating and I'm going to have to see it with an adult. I'm not sure if it's just the woman hormones (I was bleeding a few days ago), but the first weeks of January was absolute, utter crap.

But, I won't let all the sad things get in the way of the happiness I'm hoping future days will bring. This 2016, I hope to stay motivated, read more books, write more stuff (even though it's crap), stay hydrated, and eat more. Generally, I just want to be happier than last year. I know it sounds super cliche and about 8263978629 people already said that, but I really have no argument for this so I'll just leave it to that.

Anyway, onto another note; Procrastinating. 2016 and I am still a professional.

I've been wanting to film a short thing for Valentine's Day and I've been planning it since December, but I just can't seem to push myself to do it. I've made a lot of, albeit embarrassing short films in the past and I guess the main reason why I haven't been filming new ones is because I feel like I will never be able to be good at it. When the truth is, the only way to be good at it and gain experience is to just do it. I would love to put Shia right here, right now, but I won't do it because I'm being serious here ( or at least I think I am ).

Francis Chan

I do fear succeeding at things that don't matter. Honestly, everything I claim to be the best at don't really matter. I claim to make the world's best mug of oatmeal (yes, mug). I claim to be a good writer. I claim to be a filmmaker (who refuses to make anything). I claim to be good at hand-lettering.

But what the hell, I shouldn't be letting that fear stop me from doing the things I love. Fine I'm good at useless things and that might not exactly land me a good college and an excellent job, but hey I'm happy.

That's what I want to say by the end of this year.

That's what I want to say by the end of this life.

Let's cut it straight to the point because I am (seriously) procrastinating at life right now since I kinda have a script and a few other school stuff to work on. Okay, surprisingly, friday the 13th went extremely well for me. Not that I believe it truly holds  bad luck, but hey, I didn't believe it gave good luck as well. I actually thought of writing a poem to sum up this day, but I lack the creativity at the moment (not to mention time) and I was scared that if I try to procrastinate the day I write this, I'll start forgetting the whole thing.

This week has been really sucky. My monday was an absolute catastrophe, forgetting my house keys and all, the rest of the week didn't go well too. Thursday, the day before the 13th, I wasn't able to go to school because I literally felt like crap. I had so much to do the night before that and I pulled an all-nighter, thinking I could handle it. Yes, well, I couldn't. It was such a crappy week and I seriously had to drag myself out of bed just to go to school. A great start, sarcastically speaking.

But, hey, things started to turn around as we surprised our former adviser with a song, a cake, and chocolates. Tear-jerker moment. I had this little reunion with all my classmates last school year which was awesome. I missed them a lot.

Remember how I told you we're having prom? Yes, well, of course it's the season for promposals (prom date proposals, just in case it ain't uhh.. obvious). I am completely unsure if I'm going to tell you what happened, but yeah, a guy asked me to prom. And not just some guy. He's the guy I've been crushing on for quite a long time and wow talk about a moment of bliss. He devised this pretty plan and well, to cut things short, he ended up having the most important people in my life (in school, ofcourse) hold out letters that spell out "Will you be my prom date?" while he played the violin.

check out my 3rd grade editing skillz yo

um he gave me these

I was exploding inside. I said yes (who wouldn't??), and I'm not so comfortable sharing it here, but it made me the happiest person alive. It was literally the best ending to the crappiest week. And well, this basically explains the photo I used at the top of this post. It's just so insane and I still couldn't believe it actually happened. As cheesy at it sounds, my crush asked me to prom and heck, I don't know how to fully express how happy I am (the struggle to restrain myself from using all caps is real).

talk about aesthetics

P.S. Advanced Happy Valentine's Day, lovely internet people! =)

Andrea

"'Cause I've got this friend who's crazy about you,

I've got this friend who can't be without you,

I've got this friend and I wish I could see

How this would end if you knew it was me."
- I've Got This Friend, 5 Seconds of Summer

I watch in the sidelines as you walk up to her. You nervously tousle your hair with your hand and take a deep breath, and then start talking to her and she flashes you a smile, I bet it's not as bright as you imagined it would be. I try to smile too, as if my moral support would radiate to you from where I was standing. I feel a tug in my chest as you talk more and she smiles more, but I keep watching. You ask one final question and she nods as an answer. I finally look away, but I didn't need to see to know that you're grinning in that goofy way that you do.

"Hey, she said yes!" You beam as you happily hold me by the shoulders at arms length and shake my soul out of my body.

I hold back the thoughts before they turned into words, and laugh instead. "Told you you could do it!"

"I can't believe I actually did! Thanks! God knows I love you!" You envelope me in a hug and I hug back weakly. Do you understand the effect you have on me? The effect of those words you tell me?

The moment you let go of me, I have second thoughts of telling you everything; from the butterflies to the drumrolls to the backflips my stomach makes, but reason tells me it won't do me any good. What I had with you wasn't a legit boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, but I wouldn't give anything to lose whatever it was that we shared.

"I'll see you later, okay? Ice cream, my treat. You deserve it!" You say as you begin to walk away and head to your next class. I smile as I watch you go; that way you walk, the way you swing your arm, the way you run your hand through your hair, the way you smile at everybody. You were so gorgeous in your own little way.

You congratulated me when I got over all my stupid exes, when I stopped looking at myself lower than everybody else, when I finally passed a Math exam. You always told me how great I was doing with life. How good I was at saving myself. You were wrong. It wasn't just me. It was you. You pushed me to believe I was better than what I deemed myself to be. But you also showed me how to have fun, how to just enjoy the life I'm living.

I bet you don't understand the joy I feel when I realize how close we've gotten. And I bet you don't see the sadness I feel when I realize this is the extent of what we could be. You were the sweetest sadness. The sole responsible for that bittersweet feeling.


I like you for all your positive qualities and your amazing personality, but I love you for all your defects and weirdness and inconsistency and everything that comes with being friends with you. But you can't see this. Maybe you never will.