1st Semester as a Vet Student a.k.a college is so hard pls help me

I'm posting this a few days before my second semester starts, but I wrote it a few days into the end of my first semester. Messy, but let's roll with it.

My last finals exam a.k.a the exam that marks the beginning of my freedom was last Wednesday. But the fact that my first semester is done has only sunk in now. My brain still feels weird about not having to finish a to-do list.

Officially an Iska + My First Two Months in College

     I was going to whip up a post about my first two months in college, but I visited my drafts and found a half-baked post I wrote a few days before I was moving in to my apartment. I think it'd be pretty cool to include that along with what happened during my first month in college. I have three papers due tomorrow, but... I have nothing. Let's just keep going before I change my mind and abandon this post again.

008: Graduation and College - A Comeback Post

Photo by Baim Hanif on Unsplash
Photo edit by yours truly

     I gotta admit, changing that blog sidebar information from "18 year old high school senior" to "19 year old college freshman" felt really weird. And yea b0i, ya home girl graduated high school! On that note, I should probably stop writing like that because I've shared this website/blog to several clients on my freelancing stint (yea b0i, ya home girl also has a job - well, occasionally anyway).

     It's been a while since my last post (a while = half a year), and I don't really have a good reason for the absence. Just that I've been busy with enjoying ~senior year~ (enjoying = drowning in school work) and stressing out over college entrance exam results. I do want to keep blogging though (have you noticed that this is a recurring line on all my comeback posts?)!

     I thought it'd be nice to start with a little update on school and college since I seem to talk about it on here a lot. See journal entry #007 where I panic about college entrance exams and not knowing what I want to do with my life. I thought it'd be pretty cool to have my next journal entry about the same topic, just a tad bit happier.

     All modesty aside, I qualified for the four most well-known universities in the Philippines (a.k.a. The Big Four) - which, to this day, will always be one of the biggest blessings in my life. All the studying all night and depression naps definitely paid off. They all didn't drop their results at the same time and there was so much existential crises in between the dates of exam results — but all of it pretty much paid off. All. Of. It. I am immensely grateful for the chance to choose between the four best (imo anw) universities in the country.

     I guess the only forseeable problem right now is choosing where to go, right? I mean, that seems like an easy choice seeing that all four universities are among the best in the country. But the thing is, I'm still having issues with what I want to do with my life. Nope, that part, sadly, hasn't changed. The happy part of the post ends here, I guess.

     The two universities I'm considering are Ateneo de Manila University and Unuversity of the Philippines. I know, I know. I once said that the latter was my dream university. It seems like an easy decision to make, right?


    Choosing Ateneo de Manila means choosing a secure future. I was offered a scholarship slash sponsorship to study Data Sciences - all my needs such as transportation fees, allowance, and even housing needs are handled by the sponsor. I don't need to worry about a single things that involves money - which is a pretty good deal considering the fact that Ateneo offers an expensive education (of good quality though so). The downside, however, is that right after graduating, I would have to pay off all the money that was spent on me. So it's kind of like a loan. That's it though, right? This is the sign that I should definitely just choose my dream university.

     Buuuut, I've been told that once I graduate and land my spot on the sponsor's company, I'd be more than capable of paying back all the fees. In short, they're assuring me a bright future. I'd have a job as soon as I graduate, I'd earn a lot in that job if I do well, and I'm basically well off after graduation. And it's enticing. I am enticed. So why am I considering choosing UP over Ateneo?

     The course. Data Sciences has a lot of math. I saw the curriculum and it almost made me cry. I had to take up calculus again and data algorithms and statistics. I wanted college to be the years of my life where I finally, finally choose the path that I actually want to take. And data sciences just isn't that path.

     So the clear answer, it seems, is UP, right? But the thing is, I'm worried about the expenses. My family isn't exactly the most well off. We could use the 4 more years of not having to worry about tuition in Ateneo. Well, there isn't tuition in UP as well, but my family would have to pay for my housing, my allowance, and generally the stuff I'd need for school.

    I'm pretty much torn. Do I choose the safer, but very boring path? Or do I choose the unsure, but exciting path? I know, I know, Data Sciences won't exactly be boring all the time, I'm sure there'll be fun times. But I know myself. And I hate math. I would survive, but I would be suffering.

    That's all I have for now. I'll try to keep you updated.

     It's nice to be blogging again :)

Gossip Girl

they both die at the end

Check out that title that's in all lower cases for ~aesthetic~. It's literally midnight, I just finished Adam Silvera's newest book, They Both Die at The End and bOI did I die with them. I wouldn't really call this a review and I'd say it's pretty spoiler-free (the title already spoiled ya'll enough) so it's fine if you haven't read the book yet. Although, I highly recommend that you do.

Monsters of Verity Duology Review(ish)

Ha, jokes on you (and me), this ain't a review, just a dump for everything I thought about This Savage Song and Our Dark Duet because I haVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS DUOLOGY.

Manila International Book Fair 2017 and Matty's Mixtape for Moving On Relaunch

Photo by Kane Reinholdtsen oUnsplash
MIBF & Relaunch doodles by yours truly

a.k.a. one of the best Saturdays of my life so far. I've been anticipating this year's Manila International Book Fair ever since 2017 rolled in and I've been doing nothing but studying the past few weeks since it's CETs season, so I thought it would be nice to take a short break from all the stresses of being a senior, and go home.

Dear Kate

Photo by Chang Duong oUnsplash
Dear Kate sticker by yours truly 

Context: I attended Roch Lazarte's relaunch for her book Matty's Mixtape for Moving On last Saturday (More on this event in a later blog post). Days before the event, she asked if people would be willing to read their letters to the Kates of their lives during the relaunch and I was lucky enough to be given a slot. This was the letter to my Kate that I read during the relaunch.